Different You. Different Response.

Oct 31

Lately I have been thinking about what it really means to meet something differently. Not to avoid it or outgrow it but to face the same challenge with new awareness.

I see it all the time in my coaching work. Someone hits a familiar wall and assumes it means they are back where they started. That all or nothing mindset sneaks in and suddenly growth feels like a pass or fail test. If the old pattern shows up again, we tell ourselves we have lost ground. But that is not what is happening. It is not failure. It is a rep. More steps. Another opportunity to practice what you know in real time instead of only understanding it in theory.

And that shift, choosing to meet something differently instead of labeling it a setback, can change everything. Not just for one issue or habit or pattern, but across the board. In work. In relationships. In how we talk to ourselves. In how we show up when things do not go the way we hoped.It is rarely as complicated as it feels. Most of the time it starts with that small pause. The moment you recognize, this is that same thing again, but I am not the same person this time.

I have seen it on the field too. My soccer team has been working on running through balls. Getting in the fight for those 50 50s. All season the hesitation has been there. That half step of doubt. That tiny pause that costs the play. It is not about skill. It is about commitment. About deciding to meet the ball instead of waiting for it.

So we stripped it all back. No defenders. No pressure. Just each girl. A ball in the air. And a choice. Meet it or do not. Punt after punt after punt. It was simple but not easy. They had to decide to step in, to trust their timing, to run through instead of wait. When they finally started doing it, really meeting the ball, you could feel the shift. The confidence. The pride. That quiet moment of I can do this that does not need to be said out loud.

We have our youngest player on the team. She moves like she has not learned to be afraid yet. She just runs through the ball, no hesitation. Watching her made me wonder when the rest of us started waiting for permission. Because that is what happens, isn’t it. Somewhere along the line we stop trusting our instincts. We start collecting other people’s fears and calling them wisdom. We learn that it is safer to be liked than to be bold.

We do not mean to pass that stuff down, but we do. People feel our energy before they ever understand our words. If we lead from fear, they feel it. If we play small, they learn small. And it is not just about sports. It is about life. About how we show up when things get hard or familiar or uncomfortable. Every time you find yourself in a moment that looks like an old one, the same pattern, the same trigger, the same conversation, it is not proof that you are stuck. It is an invitation to meet it differently.

Maybe this time you breathe instead of react. Maybe this time you stay instead of run. Maybe this time you trust that discomfort does not mean danger. That is growth. Not the absence of fear, but the evolution of how you face it.

So for the record, you are not avoiding it. You are learning how to meet it differently this time. That is what real change looks like. The same challenge, the same story, the same play, but a different you standing in the middle of it.

Moment after moment. No one else’s approval to chase. Just you. The ball. And the choice to go for it.