You’re Not Actually Confused

In Unedited Session 3, one of the women in the group realized something she’s been calling “confusion” for years wasn’t confusion at all. She’s just gotten really good at ignoring herself.

She told us how, any time a decision came up, big or small, her first instinct wasn’t to check in with herself, but to check in with someone else. And somewhere along the way (self admitted, probably years ago) she stopped trusting that her own answer was enough.

It’s not that she didn’t know what she wanted. She did. She just learned to keep it in the backseat so someone else could drive. Sometimes out of habit. Sometimes out of survival. Sometimes because it felt easier than dealing with the pushback.

Once she saw it, she could also see all the tiny ways she’s still doing it. Every time she second guesses herself, asks for another opinion, or waits for permission to move.

That’s the thing about self trust. It’s not loud. It’s not some grand, radio over your head or stand on a table and declare your truth. It’s the small choice you make before anyone else gets a say. It’s the quiet “yes” to yourself that no one else even hears.

And here’s the part that might sting a little, self trust doesn’t just show up because you want it to. You build it. You prove it to yourself in the micro moments. You catch yourself before you give your power away. You choose your own voice, even when it would be easier to borrow someone else’s.

If you’ve been calling yourself “confused” when deep down you already know? You’re not confused. You’ve just been practicing a different muscle for a long time. And maybe it’s time to build a new one. 🖤