The Quiet Weight

the unseen parts of momming, the ones that don’t get posted but built the whole damn thing

Why I’m Writing This………

After coming off another break and hearing the RFK speech, I’ve had time to reflect and get more clear on my thoughts and my experience in this life as a mother to a child with special needs.

I don’t think any of us imagine this version of motherhood. But here I am. And if sharing even a sliver of it helps someone feel seen or gives them something to hold onto when they find themselves where I am, then it’s worth it. Even if all it does is offer me the relief of saying my truth out loud. Maybe someone else will feel inspired to say theirs too.

What I carry and I know I’m not alone in this is shaped by being a mom to a child with special needs. My daughter’s diagnosis is visible: Trisomy 21, or Down syndrome. In some ways, that visibility makes things easier. She’s verbal. She’s not aggressive. When people see her, they often understand why she might not “behave” the way they expect a child to.

She will need long-term care, but life can still be good for her. That’s not easy to explain. We have access to resources. We have a village that gets her. And we are white, heterosexual, married, and educated - privileges that quietly smooth the path in ways I never take for granted.

I also know this isn’t everyone’s story. Some parents are navigating needs that require around-the-clock care, or behaviors that are isolating and unsafe, or systems that fail them again and again.

There’s light and love here. And also weight. And that’s the truth I’m holding.

But this isn’t just for the special needs crowd. This is for any mom navigating complex needs, chronic illness, blended families, single parenting, caregiving for aging parents, or simply being the one who carries more than people realize.

If you’ve been quietly drowning, this is your invitation to come along. Hop in. Buckle up. Cry your eyes out. Sit with the parts that hit a little too close to home. Or just get a better glimpse into what life looks like for someone like me.

This is The Quiet Weight. A five-part series about the parts of motherhood, caregiving, and being the “strong one” that don’t always make it into conversation. Maybe others have shared these stories before—but I wasn’t ready to hear them. I was still trying to put language to my own. If that’s where you are too, I understand. When you’re ready, I hope this series meets you with recognition, not pressure. And reminds you that your truth belongs, too.

I’ll be sharing a new piece every week or so.

One small truth at a time.

Because naming it is how we stop carrying it alone.